The Complexity of Turning 27
I found myself oscillating between two worlds in 2020.
One of those worlds saw yoga sessions as a regular part of my calendar, an emerging love for cooking healthy meals from scratch, and one (sensible) glass of vino at the end of a hectic day at work, a place I love and that has afforded me a growing amount of responsibility and leadership.
But, in contrast, I’m still very much part of a second world; a world where, just last month, I cleaned up my own vomit from my bedroom floor the morning after (just one) too many beverages, where sometimes store bought garlic bread is simply my entire dinner, and where throwing my bed sheets in the wash isn’t something I do at acceptable intervals.
And I’m panicking. Am I leaving behind that latter, more childlike, world and trundeling rapidly towards the first, more adult, world? It’s true I’m enjoying experiencing both but I’m not ready to say a forever goodbye to the ease and spontaneity associated with being young.
My birthday, the big two-seven, is 27 days away. And let’s face it, we all know 27 is officially late twenties. The next decade, beginning with 30, is swiftly approaching. It also doesn’t help that my silly mind remembers some fancy peer-reviewed research study concluding that adults consider 27 to be the age they feel like a proper ‘adult’. So, irrationality has taken over and I’m in a crisis: I WILL OFFICIALLY BE AN ADULT.
But I’m trying, really trying, to consider rational explanations, even if they are the quieter voice in my head. Covid-19 has dramatically changed my normal life. A wise and beautiful soul last week told me her thirties are way better than her twenties. I still live with two of my best friends in a dodgy (albeit cosy) little apartment in a city that continues to excite me after almost four years. I’m not an adult just yet.
The way I’m slowly piecing together adulthood is that it’s a ladder of little bite sized stages and 2020 has seen me take a record number of jumps up this adulthood ladder. It’s been exciting yet terrifying. I’ve still a lot to learn though and there are many, many, more steps I’m nowhere near conquering (pensions — anyone got a clue?). In my heart, I still feel very young.
Who knows — maybe I’ll continue to fluctuate between these two worlds in 2021, maybe my adventures aged 27 will be awesomely incredible, and maybe my current distress will eventually fade to insignificance.
But, right now the one thing I can tell you, is that I started 2021 feeling fizzy and dizzy, and a few hours later a McDonald’s order consisting purely of hash browns was delivered right to the door of my apartment. I have absolutely no idea which world this puts me in — but I’m okay with that.
